滕定公薨。世子謂然友曰:"昔者孟子嘗與我言於宋,於心終不忘。今也不幸至於大故,吾欲使子問於孟子,然後行事。"然友之鄒問於孟子。
孟子曰:"不亦善乎!親喪固所自盡也。曾子曰:'生,事之以禮;死,葬之以禮,祭之以禮,可謂孝矣。'諸侯之禮,吾未之學也;雖然,吾嘗聞之矣。三年之喪,齊疏之服,飦粥之食,自天子達於庶人,三代共之。"然友反命,定為三年之喪。
父兄百官皆不欲,曰:"吾宗國魯先君莫之行,吾先君亦莫之行也,至於子之身而反之,不可。且志曰:'喪祭從先祖。'"
曰:"吾有所受之也。"謂然友曰:"吾他日未嘗學問,好馳馬試劍。今也父兄百官不我足也,恐其不能盡於大事,子為我問孟子。"然友復之鄒問孟子。
孟子曰:"然。不可以他求者也。孔子曰:'君薨,聽於冢宰。歠粥,面深墨。即位而哭,百官有司,莫敢不哀,先之也。'上有好者,下必有甚焉者矣。'君子之德,風也;小人之德,草也。草尚之風必偃。'是在世子。"然友反命。
世子曰:"然。是誠在我。"五月居廬,未有命戒。百官族人可謂曰知。及至葬,四方來觀之,顏色之戚,哭泣之哀,弔者大悅。
Duke Ding of Teng died. The heir apparent told Ran You: “Once Mencius spoke to me in Song, and I have never forgotten his words. Now I have met with this great misfortune, and I wish to send you to ask Mencius, and then arrange the rites.” Ran You went to Zou and asked Mencius.
Mencius said: “Is this not good! In mourning for parents, one should do one’s utmost. Zengzi said: ‘While they are alive, serve them according to propriety; when they die, bury them according to propriety, sacrifice to them according to propriety — this may be called filial.’ The rites of the feudal lords I have not studied; however, I have heard of them. The three-year mourning period, wearing coarse hemp garments, eating thin gruel — from the Son of Heaven down to the common people, the Three Dynasties shared these practices.”
Ran You returned with this answer, and the three-year mourning was established. But the elders and officials all objected, saying: “None of the former lords of our ancestral state Lu practiced it, and none of our own former lords practiced it. For you to reverse this in your generation is wrong.”
The heir apparent told Ran You: “I have something I received from Mencius.” He sent Ran You again to Zou to ask Mencius.
Mencius said: “So it is. This cannot be sought elsewhere. Confucius said: ‘When a lord dies, entrust affairs to the chief minister. Drink thin gruel, darken your face. Take your place and weep — and all the officials will not dare fail to grieve, for you have set the example.’ When those above have preferences, those below surely carry them to excess. ‘The virtue of the noble person is the wind; the virtue of the small person is the grass. The grass bends when the wind blows over it.’ It depends on the heir apparent.”
The heir apparent said: “So it is. It truly depends on me.” He dwelt in the mourning hut for five months, issuing no commands or prohibitions. The officials and relatives could all be said to know what was proper. When the burial came, visitors from all directions came to observe. The gravity of his expression and the sorrow of his weeping greatly pleased the mourners.