平原君斬笑躄美人
Lord Pingyuan Beheads the Concubine Who Laughed at the Lame Man
平原君趙勝者,趙之諸公子也。諸子中勝最賢,喜賓客,賓客蓋至者數千人。平原君相趙惠文王及孝成王,三去相,三復位,封於東武城。
平原君家樓臨民家。民家有躄者,槃散行汲。平原君美人居樓上,臨見,大笑之。明日,躄者至平原君門,請曰:"臣聞君之喜士,士不遠千里而至者,以君能貴士而賤妾也。臣不幸有罷癃之病,而君之後宮臨而笑臣,臣原得笑臣者頭。"平原君笑應曰:"諾。"躄者去,平原君笑曰:"觀此豎子,乃欲以一笑之故殺吾美人,不亦甚乎!"終不殺。居歲餘,賓客門下舍人稍稍引去者過半。平原君怪之,曰:"勝所以待諸君者未嘗敢失禮,而去者何多也?"門下一人前對曰:"以君之不殺笑躄者,以君為愛色而賤士,士即去耳。"於是平原君乃斬笑躄者美人頭,自造門進躄者,因謝焉。其後門下乃復稍稍來。是時齊有孟嘗,魏有信陵,楚有春申,故爭相傾以待士。
Lord Pingyuan, Zhao Sheng, was a prince of the Zhao royal house. Among all the princes, Sheng was the most capable. He was fond of retainers, and guests who gathered around him numbered several thousand. Lord Pingyuan served as chancellor under both King Huiwen and King Xiaocheng of Zhao, was dismissed three times and restored three times, and was enfeoffed at Dongwucheng.
Lord Pingyuan's mansion had an upper story that overlooked a common family's dwelling. In that family lived a lame man who limped and shuffled when he went out to draw water. One of Lord Pingyuan's concubines, looking down from the upper story, saw him and burst out laughing. The next day, the lame man came to Lord Pingyuan's gate and said: "I have heard that you are fond of worthy men, and that men travel a thousand li to come to you because you value men and hold women cheap. I have the misfortune of a crippling illness, and your concubine looked down and laughed at me. I wish to have the head of the woman who laughed." Lord Pingyuan laughed and agreed. After the lame man left, Lord Pingyuan said with a laugh: "Look at this wretch — he wants me to kill my concubine over a single laugh. Is that not absurd?" He did not kill her.
Over the next year and more, his retainers and household men gradually drifted away until more than half had left. Lord Pingyuan was puzzled and said: "I have never failed in courtesy toward you all — why have so many left?" One of his men stepped forward and replied: "Because you did not kill the concubine who laughed at the lame man. They consider you a man who prizes beauty over worthy men, and so the worthy men leave." At this, Lord Pingyuan beheaded the concubine, went in person to the lame man's door, and apologized. After that, his retainers gradually returned. At that time, Qi had Lord Mengchang, Wei had Lord Xinling, and Chu had Lord Chunshen — and they all competed to outdo each other in patronizing the worthy.
Notes
Lord Pingyuan (平原君), personal name Zhao Sheng (趙勝, d. 251 BC), was a prince of Zhao and one of the Four Lords of the Warring States. He served as chancellor of Zhao and played a central role in the defense of Handan against Qin's siege (257 BC).
Dongwucheng (東武城) was Lord Pingyuan's fief, located near modern Wucheng County (武城縣), Shandong.
The episode demonstrates the fierce honor economy of the Warring States retainer class. A patron's value was measured not by how he treated his concubines but by whether he subordinated private pleasures to public reputation. Lord Pingyuan's initial refusal to act cost him half his retainers — a devastating political loss.
